First impression is everything! I know, many of us may have heard the phrase a thousands time right? But it is true, that when we meet someone for the first time, that time may not be the last time meeting them, in fact, there is a universal law “what goes up, comes down” or “what goes around, comes back around.” That person who we may have said an unkind word to or rubbed the wrong way could end up being someone who may decide my fate in court, give me a yes or no answer for a loan, decide or may not decide to sell me their home. What ever the case may be, building rapport can or should steer, close or seal the deal in your favor!
What should we do or say when we first meet a seller?
- Is this the right person? Politely introduce yourself, shake the owner’s hand and ask him/her “Are you Mr./Mrs so and so, great it is a pleasure to finally met you.”
- Speak slowly, mimicking the tone level and the rate of speech with the seller. Do not over talk the seller, do not talk over the seller, or talk faster than the seller. Speak at the same pace and tone level. Use body language by leaning in to show that you are interested in what he/she is saying. Stand the way their standing, sit the way they are sitting and be subtle. The idea here is not to outright mimic. That would seem weird or odd. Moreover, interact in ways they like to interact, and interact like them, and you’ll develop better connection and rapport.
- Get to know the seller. Look around the house and pay attention to family pictures or photos. Make conversation; get the seller to talk about him/herself such as habits-marriage-children, etc. Ask questions and don’t talk to much about yourself. Build rapport while asking questions about the house. Again, get the seller to talk about him/herself.
“Harvard neuroscientists Diana Tamir and Jason Mitchell have conducted a series of behavioral experiments, pointing to the fact that talking about yourself (in this case, this would be the seller) feels so rewarding, right down to the brain cells and synapse, that people can’t help sharing details about themselves.”
If you master the four principles of rapport, you can/will walk away with the DEAL!
- Rapport Principle #1: Empathy: Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another. If you want to understand another person, a) get them talking about themselves, and b) demonstrate that you are listening.
- Rapport Principle #2: Authenticity: “Be Real, Be Yourself”. No phony or fake smiles. Have genuine concern about the seller’s situation and conversation concerning family, hobbies, and why he/she is selling. People like people who are genuine.
- Rapport Principle #3: Similarity: The more you can find common ground, the more likely you are to develop genuine rapport and like each other. They prefer that people move the way they move. Find interests and background in common with the other person and you can make and deepen connections.
- Rapport Principle #4: Shared Experience: It’s also true that if you simply spend time with people-dinner, coffee, events, and so on-your affinity for one another will rise. So, if you want to build rapport and increase your influence with sellers or buyers, interact with them. Create a shared experience.
We are here to build relationships with Sellers and Buyers and to do this we have invested our time to make sure that we are attending to the 4 Principles of Rapport:
- Empathy: Be curious. Listen. Care.
- Authenticity: Be real.
- Similarity: Find common ground.
- Shared Experience: Interact.